So it has been almost a year since i last posted and i would like to get back into blogging. I think if i had something that i would try to blog about each day of the week it would be easier for me to keep up with. What with my new preschool adventures, raising a toddler, being a ministers wife, and a craft addict i should find lots to share with you all. Here is my new posting schedule. Monday: How to Crafts/ Home Improvement Tuesday: What I Love About Alivia Wednesday: Thoughts from a Minister's Wife Thursday: ??? Out of idea would love some suggestions Friday: My Week in Preschool

An update on our family

This is a warning before you continue; this update has some tearful moments. I don't want you to feel bad for me or to hug me or for you to say you are sorry I just need to get some of my emotion out in words. About two weeks ago Michael and I found out we were expecting another baby but on Friday I had a spontaneous miscarriage at 7 weeks 1 day. The odds are that the baby had some kind of genetic problem that made it not able to sustain life and therefore we never got to meet baby number two. I don't think that this would have been as difficult for Michael and I to deal with but on Friday when everything began we went to ER and after I gave them about a gallon of blood and all the test results were back (everything came back for normal ranges for how far along I was) they did an ultra sound and we got to see the baby and see it's heart beat.

When a woman finds out she is expecting she is automatically in love with that un-known being weather you were trying for a baby or it was a surprise. But for dad it really doesn’t become something real until they see this little person face to face, and Michael got to "meet" our baby on Friday night. God made babies something very special because they come with this draw that makes us fall completely in love with at first sight, you just can’t help it. And it is this super power that left us crying.

It wasn't until Saturday afternoon that I was sure we had lost the baby and all I could say was "God you can't take her I fell in love already." which leads me to my status update yesterday... "life isn't fair sometimes it’s in your favor and sometimes it’s not, but it isn't in your favor you have to remember the times that it was" Life truly isn't fair, it isn't fair that I will never have that baby to hold and hug and cuddle and smell. It isn't fair that we have a beautiful, healthy, happy, growing, funny little girl at home to love already. It isn't fair that sometimes God tells us no when he says yes to other people that maybe we don't think deserve it. Life just isn't fair but we have to remember that sometimes it isn't fair for us and it isn't fair against us.

It seems it’s hardest to remember that especially when you are going through the time when life being not fair isn't working in your favor. But in the end we are safe and healthy and really actually okay. And one day b/c of our faith and love we will be good again. And even further down the road (like a year or two further) we may end up welcoming another life and love into our world. But until that time I will find comfort in my daughter, husband, and organizing my house. Hello getting photos sorted and properly stored away.

Crystal Recommends: Rubermaid Spice Rack

So in one of our many many adventures in Walmart I found this amamzing contraption. While thoose of you who know me well know that I am not the one that does the cooking simply because I hate it. That doesn’t mean I don’t want the kitchen organized. The Rubermaid Spice Rack is a wire rack that you install in your cabinate (we choose the one over our stove). You simplely drill a couple holes, screw in the brackets and there you go. It organizes all your spices and makes them easy to see, find and reach all for the low price of $11.00. It is just one more small step to getting my house organized. I hope this helps you along your daily journey as well.

Crystal Recommends:

I have decided to give my blog some structure so I will become more in the habit of posting. Once a week I will post something that I have found makes my life easier. Today’s recommendation is the Bounce Dryer Bar! It is a bar that will take the place of those annoying dryer sheets. I don’t like to use fabric softener in the washing machine b/c I don’t feel like it makes your clothes smell as good and it doesn’t really seem to help the static build up from the dryer. I hate using regular dryer sheets because I hate having to figure out what to do with them after the dryer. If you are anything like me I do my laundry down in the basement and lug it up stairs to fold on the bed so I can watch TV at the same time. At the end of a day doing laundry I have a pile sky high of used dryer sheets that will fall over and get stuck to my socks or will find their way under my bed. The Bounce Dryer Bar eliminates all of these problems and I LOVE it! You stick the bar to the drum of your dryer and replace it ever 2 months or so. I also believe that it is cheaper then standard dryer sheets. I got a 3 pack of Bounce Dryers Bars at Sam’s Club for $4.48 that is roughly 6 months of dryer sheets. So far I have no complaints and will not be going back to standard dryer sheets. Give it try and let me know what you think or if you have run into any problems with them!!!

Enough

Do you ever wonder when enough is enough. I feel like God is testing the people of Westside much like he tested Job. I know that the church has gone through a time of prosperity and well being and now we are being asked praise him in the darkness and wear out our praying knees. In one congregation there are so many people suffering. We have a family with 3 children, both parents, and one grandparent facing medical difficulties, we have another family with a 10 yr old child who has been diagnosed with an illness that has no known treatment and no known cure, there is yet another family whose father is facing bone marrow cancer among many many other medical complications and he has had to go to Florida alone for treatment b/c his wife is now the sole income in the family and must continue working to support them. I am asking that my friends please pray with us and for us as our church family are hurting. During this time of sorrow and stress and sadness I will be trying to be more positive and to praise God even though things are so hard. Every day it is my goal to post one thing I am thankful for and one positive statement. I believe that words are a powerful and strong thing and change so much so I plan to have positive words hoping that in turn it will give me the kind of view about things that Job had in his struggle. Today I am so thankful for my husband’s side of the family they are a strong point in my life and I love them. My positive view for today is that Alivia has learned how to say Da Da, she does not yet associate it with Michael but I was still disappointed that she did not learn Ma Ma first, but I am very grateful for the fact that my baby is healthly and developing properly

Not a Good Frame of Mind

Do you ever just feel like you’re in it all alone? Not even the one person that you thought you could always count on was there. That has kind of been my week so far. This week as just been a week full of let downs not only has that one person that you thought you could always count on just not been there but it feels like the second, third, fourth, and fifth person aren’t there either. I guess in the words of Dr. Chapmen my love tank isn’t feeling very full and you can really tell by my attitude. I know that most of this is brought on by stress and feeling unsettled in our house b/c while things are almost all unpacked nothing is completed. There are no pictures hung on the wall there are no personal knick knacks sitting about. All of this is compounded by a teething, cranky baby and a too busy husband. Tonight is one of those nights that I feel like one of the girls off of 16 and pregnant who had this boy promise that he would always be there to help and blah blah blah but at 1 am when baby is awake he just tits there and lets her cry. Now this dosen’t happen very often as Alivia has slept through the night since she was about 3 weeks old but tonight at 12:30 she was up and unhappy. Dear husband was already awake playing some stupid game on his phone and waited for me to get up and get the child a bottle and feed her evern though I had already been asleep for oh an hour and half. After a bottle and the third time I was up he says “what can I do?” my response was short and mean “Not lay in bed.” I know that I should have nicely directed him what would best aide me but by that time I was so mad. I had been home alone all day with her he only held her once b/c I asked him so I could go get her bath ready. I just feel like I am the only one who is taking care of this child and I am so done with it. I know that this is just a bad night and tomorrow I should be completely back to normal I just needed a place to jot down my feelings so that when the princess decides it’s time to go back to sleep I will have some peace of mind and be able to sleep myself.

The House Hunting Adventure

So it seems like Michael and I will talk about things forever and never really do anything about it. Eventually we will browse around online and find something we like and the ball just seems to start rolling. We live in a 900 sq ft town house style apartment, the three of us and dog make for very tight living. Our lease is up at the end of September so we started driving around looking for a bigger place to rent. Well to rent anything bigger then what we live in we are looking at almost doubling the price we are paying for rent which just isn’t do-able with our budget. Michael started looking around online and found a house for sale in our area in our price range. He called his Aunt Susan to have her look up info on it for us. Susan called the realtor the house was listed with on a Monday and found out that the house was being put up for auction that Wednesday and in order for us to stop that action we had to make an offer on the house by Tuesday evening. It is a beautiful 2 story 92 year old house that has 3 bedrooms 1 and ½ baths. It has a living room, den, dining room and a small but livable kitchen. It is a foreclosed house so needless to say the house needs some lovin’ in a big kind of way but after the home inspection we found out that that all of the really expensive hard to do stuff like replacing the windows and blowing insulation into all the walls has been done. The house does need some work there are about 8 light switches/ plugs that need wired and installed, there are some gas leaks that need to be repaired but they are at fittings in the pipe so odds are they just need to be tightened and the chimney needs to be lined where the natural gas heater vents so that eventually the carbon monoxide doesn’t seep into the house and kill us. These would typically be very expensive things to have done but we have men in the church that have stepped up and volunteered their time to fix these things for us. We wouldn’t be able to have this house if it wasn’t for the dumb luck that we had in finding it and looking into it when we did we would not have had the opportunity to get that house. God has really and truly provided for us in so many ways and I love when he gives me a story to share with other people about the way he always provides. I am so thankful for my faithful God!