Enough

Do you ever wonder when enough is enough. I feel like God is testing the people of Westside much like he tested Job. I know that the church has gone through a time of prosperity and well being and now we are being asked praise him in the darkness and wear out our praying knees. In one congregation there are so many people suffering. We have a family with 3 children, both parents, and one grandparent facing medical difficulties, we have another family with a 10 yr old child who has been diagnosed with an illness that has no known treatment and no known cure, there is yet another family whose father is facing bone marrow cancer among many many other medical complications and he has had to go to Florida alone for treatment b/c his wife is now the sole income in the family and must continue working to support them. I am asking that my friends please pray with us and for us as our church family are hurting. During this time of sorrow and stress and sadness I will be trying to be more positive and to praise God even though things are so hard. Every day it is my goal to post one thing I am thankful for and one positive statement. I believe that words are a powerful and strong thing and change so much so I plan to have positive words hoping that in turn it will give me the kind of view about things that Job had in his struggle. Today I am so thankful for my husband’s side of the family they are a strong point in my life and I love them. My positive view for today is that Alivia has learned how to say Da Da, she does not yet associate it with Michael but I was still disappointed that she did not learn Ma Ma first, but I am very grateful for the fact that my baby is healthly and developing properly

Not a Good Frame of Mind

Do you ever just feel like you’re in it all alone? Not even the one person that you thought you could always count on was there. That has kind of been my week so far. This week as just been a week full of let downs not only has that one person that you thought you could always count on just not been there but it feels like the second, third, fourth, and fifth person aren’t there either. I guess in the words of Dr. Chapmen my love tank isn’t feeling very full and you can really tell by my attitude. I know that most of this is brought on by stress and feeling unsettled in our house b/c while things are almost all unpacked nothing is completed. There are no pictures hung on the wall there are no personal knick knacks sitting about. All of this is compounded by a teething, cranky baby and a too busy husband. Tonight is one of those nights that I feel like one of the girls off of 16 and pregnant who had this boy promise that he would always be there to help and blah blah blah but at 1 am when baby is awake he just tits there and lets her cry. Now this dosen’t happen very often as Alivia has slept through the night since she was about 3 weeks old but tonight at 12:30 she was up and unhappy. Dear husband was already awake playing some stupid game on his phone and waited for me to get up and get the child a bottle and feed her evern though I had already been asleep for oh an hour and half. After a bottle and the third time I was up he says “what can I do?” my response was short and mean “Not lay in bed.” I know that I should have nicely directed him what would best aide me but by that time I was so mad. I had been home alone all day with her he only held her once b/c I asked him so I could go get her bath ready. I just feel like I am the only one who is taking care of this child and I am so done with it. I know that this is just a bad night and tomorrow I should be completely back to normal I just needed a place to jot down my feelings so that when the princess decides it’s time to go back to sleep I will have some peace of mind and be able to sleep myself.